New China, New Jokes
1. Once, a Communist Party newspaper journalist went to a poor remote village to interview the villagers. He found a poor old man and asked, “Have there been any big changes in your life these years?” “Oh yes, big change!” said the old man. “In the old China, our lives were worse than those of cows and horses.” “And how about now?” the journalist asked optimistically. “Well, now we are just like them,” replied the old man.
2. The Vice President of the Urban Construction Bureau of Xin City, Liaoning province, was killed in his office after being stabbed seven times. After hearing the news, a netizen commented: “Kindergarten Kids sent a message of congratulation: Uncles and Aunts, you finally found the right person!”
3. From the perspective of the killing power of weapons, the world’s first ranked Weapon of Massive Destruction (WMD) is Chairman Mao.
4. The Chief of the Shenzhen Public Security Bureau said:”Without getting rid of all the unemployed people, Shenzhen will not have peace.” A Twitter user comments: “Don’t worry guys, the Chief just can’t stand his wife anymore.”
5. Hundreds of Chenguan from Pinddingshan Henan province driving their government cars all the way to Beijing due to default in payments. A netizen commented, “Those who have dogs, but don’t feed them are just as guilty as those who torture animals.”
6. Yes, we have more tanks than potatos, more rockets than sausages, but we can’t eat rockets every day, fire a nuclear bomb for Spring Festival.
7. Such a nice shaped ass crack*, such silky long legs* yet the dick* shrinks.
#Groin in Chinese is gu gou股沟, a nick name for gu ge谷歌, which is Google.
#leg in Chinese is tui腿, very similar to tui推 that is short for Twitter推特.
#dang裆 in Chinese is the place where a normal man’s dick should be located, which is the homophone of dang党, the Communist Party.
8. Some rumours say that Facebook is going to be imported to China, but what should the Chinese name of it be? How about just call it “shu书” (book)? As long as you enter China, you are losing face.
9. Some oversea Chinese supporters of the PRC government enthusiastically back up the phrase “Only distance creates beauty.”
10. Wen Jiabao visited Beijing University on the 4th of May, many students invited the Prime Minster to come back again next month!
11. Where can you find Chinese people’s old friends? If they are not in the People’s Great Hall in Beijing, they must be on the dock in the International Court of Justice in the Peace Palace in The Hague, Netherlands.
May 9, 2010 at 9:36 pm Comment (1)
